"How
To Be Right And Make Others Right Too:" The
study of the four classic behavior styles has brought me the joy of
better understanding myself, my family, and my acquaintances.
It has made me more compassionate toward myself and others.
I now recognize that I can be right for me and encourage others
to be right for themselves, since our inherent temperaments are
different. The
information on temperaments or behavior styles goes back at least as
far as Hippocrates (400 B.C.)
when he named these basic styles Choleric, Sanguine,
Phlegmatic, and Melancholy. Modern
day behavior scientists use a variety of names.
The system I favor uses DISC language:
D—Dominant/Direct, I—Influencing/Interacting,
S—Supportive/Steady, and C—Conscientious/Cautious.
Most of us are high in two and low in two. This
brief article will not explain the styles but will focus on the value
of knowing about the styles.
For instance, understanding the needs, motivations, and fears
of each style helps us become less judgmental as we see that
another’s style comes from a different set of needs. Here
are some examples of why behavioral style understanding is so
valuable. 1.
If you are speaking, selling, or teaching, it is good to know
that each style has a favorite question that needs to be answered. a.
What?
(What is in this for me or what’s the bottom line?) b.
Who?
(Who is involved or who will be there?) c.
How?
(How do I do it, use it, apply it?) d.
Why?
(Why is this important, of value?) 2.
Understanding Behavior Styles helps us practice the Platinum
Rule.
It goes beyond the Golden Rule which says “Treat others as
you want to be treated.”
Since there are four classic temperaments, each with different
needs, we can alienate people if we treat them just as we want to be
treated. For
instance, your friend may abhor surprises and not appreciate the
surprise birthday party that you’re planning.
The Platinum Rule says “Treat others as they want to be
treated.”
Therefore, it behooves us to have an understanding of who wants
a slow pace or fast pace, who wants to put tasks before people or who
wants to put people before tasks, who wants security and who wants
change, who wants thinking time and who wants the air waves filled.
These are not value issues but basic differences in genetic
temperaments.
They need to be recognized, honored, and then flexed at, times,
for the sake of the relationship. 3.
DISC understanding helps us prevent or divert hostility.
Hostility is related to our fears and each style has a
predominate fear.
For instance, the S style fears loss of security, (emotional
and financial). Our
awareness and acknowledgement of that can prevent hostility.
The I is fearful of social rejection,
the D of being taken advantage of, the C of criticism.
Armed with that knowledge, do you see how we may be able to
speak and act with each of them in a way that can prevent hostility? 4.
DISC knowledge helps us know what motivates each style.
For instance, the I style wants to play and have fun; the D
wants to get it done.
We can plan events that honor the social needs of the I and the
task orientation of the D.
The C style is an information specialist and wants all the data
and time they need to do careful accurate work.
Through experiencing your own behavior Profile, you’ll be
better able to undertstand the motivations of others. 5.
Behavior style awareness enables you to see a person’s
limitations simply as a strength pushed to an extreme.
Examples abound.
Here are a few: ·
being critical is an overextension of being analytical ·
lack of initiative is an overextension of easy going ·
impatience is an overextension of being goal oriented ·
talking too much is an overextension of being a good
communicator When
someone is worrying we can remember how conscientious they are, when
someone is blunt with us we can remember that their strength is being
direct and straightforward.
When you see a nosey person you can be sure he has a curious
and questioning mind. 6.
DISC understanding is crucial for good family relationships.
We really needs to profile our family members including
children above 5.
How often parents try to make their children more like them –
such as social when the child is task oriented or fast paced who the
child is slowed paced.
The child’s temperament is a gift she came in with because it
will support her in what she is here to do.
Respect it!
There are Relationship Profiles available especially designed
to help two people better understand and appreciate each other. 7.
The value of behavior style knowledge has long been recognized
in the business world because understanding ourself and others can
affect the bottom line.
Thousands of companies all over the world are using the
scientifically validated DISC Profiles to assist in hiring, placement,
career pathing, conflict resolution, teamwork, and management.
Churches, hospitals, and government organizations are all
profiting from this new, but ancient, awareness. If
I can be of service to you by offering training in the DISC Profiles
or walking you through the paper and pencil or computer version of the
DISC Profile please write or call me.
You will be delighted with this deeper understanding of
yourself.
Peggy J. Jenkins Ph.D.
Fax:
928-282-2777
Ph:
928-282-1311
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