"Self Help Stress Reduction Kit"
Author Unknown

Contents of Kit Includes:

1 shovel, for when it gets really deep

1 umbrella, for when it hits the fan or is coming down all around you

1 crab, so you don't have to feel alone

5 extra marbles, for when yours need replacing

1 dozen safety pins to hold things together in a pinch (note crab companion)

1 bag of beans: cook beans, eat beans, run hot bath and have a "Calgon-moment"

Cinnamon oil for those times when it really stinks all around you or you have just had that "Calgon Moment"

Vegas Dice for when you need to crap on someone

1 pacifier to comfort you after temper tantrums, or fights with the wife

Extra candles to burn when at both ends

1 flashlight to help you find your way

1 dog bone to keep you occupied when in the dog house

Razors to keep you sharp or bleed you dry

Necessary bandages after using razors

1 piece of spare rope to use when you are at the end of your own rope

And last but not least, 1 small bag of M&Ms

                        * * *

Consider creating some mini-kits for holiday gifts.